I have… mixed feelings about marriage.
On one hand, it’s an oppressive institution that creates two classes of citizens under tax and social codes and is part of a history of patriarchal control of women and their assets.
On the other hand, it’s a symbol of commitment for people who fall in love and want to spend their lives together, and that’s beautiful! It’s even more beautiful now that everyone can legally marry their partner regardless of their gender in many countries.
True marriage equality is a long way away, even in countries that have legalized same-sex marriage. Aside from bigots who want to repeal it or who refuse to issue marriage licenses, there are a lot of barriers to marriage for people with disabilities and for low income people, and even when marriage equality is a reality, the economic disparities between married people and unmarried people will need to be addressed.
Also, you know, ~the patriarchy~ and heteronormativity. That part might matter less now, but it’s still baked into how marriage works, both interpersonally and on a societal level, and just because marriage is more about a loving partnership these days doesn’t mean the patriarchy and heteronormativity don’t take their tolls.
Heathen by Natasha Alterici is the story of Aydis, a young lesbian viking who sets off to rescue the Valkyrie Brynhild from Odin’s curse and to take Odin down once and for all.
Aydis got caught kissing Liv, another girl in her village, and their fathers were given two choices for their daughters’ fates: death or marriage.
Liv’s father chooses to marry off his daughter.
Aydis’s father chooses a different fate for Aydis. He tells the village that he’s chosen death for her, and then he takes her out of the village and sets her free. “This is where I found you and your mother after she gave birth to you,” he tells her. “All alone she did something that brave. You must be brave now, my child.”
There’s something in that story—that he found Aydis and her mother in the forest, that he doesn’t believe in the village’s harsh punishments for the “crime” of homosexuality. It seems like he understands something of what Aydis is going through.
Alterici shows us some other queer people’s struggles, and all of the characters’ struggles share a common theme: They are not allowed to be with the one they love because of the heteronormative patriarchy. Aydis and Liv are severely punished for kissing each other. Brynhild and Sigurd meet a boy in a village who asks a witch to find him a cure for being attracted to other men. His parents, who have converted to Christianity, think that the only explanation for his feelings is that he is possessed by a devil. Even the “straight” couple of the story is forbidden their love—the patriarchy hurts everybody! Odin’s curse on Brynhild says she can only marry a mortal, so when her beloved Sigurd becomes immortal, she is returned to her circle of fire to await another mortal to marry.
After her experience and hearing the story of Brynhild and Sigurd, Aydis decides that Odin—symbol for the patriarchy and literal patriarch—must be taken down.
Heathen, through a variation of a Norse myth, criticizes male-dominated, patriarchal societies that try to control women through marriage. Liv is not allowed to act on her own desires and is forced to perform womanhood the way her village deems acceptable. As punishment for disobeying the patriarch, Brynhild is not allowed to marry freely, regardless of who she actually loves.
And Aydis decides to fight for all of them—so that all of the women can be free to love and marry whoever they want. So that women can have a choice.
I think, despite my reservations about the institution of marriage, it’s the choice—and the accessibility of that choice—that matters. And that’s what we, like Aydis, have to fight for.
Heathen was published in 2017. Here is Natasha Alterici’s website. Heathen Vol. 1 is available for purchase. Support your local bookstore if you can, or visit your local library!
Further Reading
- Op-ed: Why, No Matter What, I Still Can’t Marry My Girlfriend by Jordan Gwendolyn Davis
- Same-Sex Marriage: A Queer Critique by Michael C. LaSala on Psychology Today
- The High Price of Being Single in America by Lisa Arnold and Christina Campbell
- What the Wedding Industrial Complex Is—And How It’s Hurting Our Ideas of Love by Sian Ferguson
- Heathen Vol.1 : A “Feminist Lesbian Viking Comic Book” by Ginnis Tonik on Women Write About Comics
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