You Are Asexual by A.C. Evermore

Prompts Filled: (2) A bildungsroman, (13) A book originally published under a pen name, (23) A book that features dragons, (31) A book with a title that is a complete sentence

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual, Queer, LGBTQIA, Choose Your Own Adventure, Adventure, Fantasy, Mystery, Science Fiction, Dystopian Fiction, Dystopias, Utopias, Second Person Narrative, Self Discovery, Coming Out, Sexuality, Sexual Orientation, Allonormativity, Compulsory Sexuality, Hermeneutical Injustice, Injustice, Sex, Sex Scenes, Non-explicit Sex Scenes, Sex Toys, Conversion Therapy, Kidnapping, Death, Sudden Death, Murder, Assassination, Conspiracy, Fascism, Censorship, Rebellion, Revolutions, Revenge, Secrets, Secret Society, High School, Puberty, Magic, Dragons, Cake, Crack Fiction, Crack Taken Seriously

It’s Orientation Day, the day you get a beam shot at you and you receive your sexual orientation. But something seemingly goes wrong, and while other students around you are experiencing sexual attraction and lust for each other, you feel… nothing. Did the beam not work? Are you just broken?

Or are you… something else? Something outside the norm. Something unexpected, secret, and… non-sexual.

Maybe… asexual?

You Are Asexual is a choose-your-own-adventure novel in which you navigate a series of decisions that lead you to discovering that you’re asexual. Or maybe you don’t and you just channel your passions into inventing the perfect sex toy. Or maybe you turn into a dragon!

Sparked Joy: 3/5 Okay, this book is fun, and I really enjoyed discovering all the endings, but I always wanted… more. Something deeper. The worldbuilding felt shallow, and I really wanted more. Always more.

I also found the portrayal of allosexual people somewhat… problematic. Like, these teenagers get hit with the sexuality ray and are suddenly horny and crawling all over each other in an orgy. That seemed… kind of an icky way to portray sexual attraction and how it works for allosexual people. I guess I just don’t like the stereotype that allosexual people are all hypersexual. And I think that stereotype is harmful for allosexuals.

That said, again, this book was really fun to read! On my first try, I ended up at a speakeasy for asexuals! That was cool. I think it was also a really accurate exploration of hermeneutical injustice when it comes to sexuality (and gender).

So, if you’re looking for something fun and not too deep (but also scary; there is conversion therapy—mind the tags!), this is a good book to check out!

Something I Learned: I learned that wearing a black ring in your right middle finger can turn you into a dragon!

(I’m kidding, of course. For those not in the know, a black ring worn on your right middle finger signals to other asexual people that you are asexual. Polyamorous people and swingers also often wear black rings on the right hand, but there is an unofficial agreement amongst these communities that the middle finger is reserved for asexuality.)

Something I’m Inspired to Do: A little while ago, I went to a Powerpoint Party and presented on Why I Hate Funko Pops. I’m thinking maybe next time, I want to write a collaborative Choose Your Own Adventure presentation!

You Are Asexual was published in 2021. Support your local bookstore if you can, or visit your local library!

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality: A Black Asexual Lens on Our Sex-Obsessed Culture by Sherronda J. Brown

Prompts Filled: None

Tags: Asexual, Asexuality, Theory, Nonfiction, Queer Theory, Black Studies, Queer Studies, Queer, Queerness, Blackness, Social Issues, Feminism, Intersectionality, Sexuality, Compulsory Sexuality, Heteronormativity, Allonormativity, Queerphobia, Gatekeeping, Sexual Politics, Sex, Race, Gender, Capitalism, Marginalization, Dehumanization, Liberation, Chrononormativity, White Supremacy, Conversion Therapy, Corrective Rape

Sherronda J. Brown examines ideas about sex and sexuality through a queer, ace, and Black lens, challenging our assumption that everyone wants sex and that every relationship must feature sex. U.S. American society is obsessed with sex, and Brown dives into how that came to be and how it’s connected to capitalism, patriarchy, and white supremacy. 

Sparked Joy: 5/5 There is so much to say about this book, and I have no idea how to say it. This book is fantastic. I think it should be required reading, at the very least for feminism and gender studies students, but also for everyone. It breaks down the way compulsory sexuality limits and controls our possibilities and our lives. It goes into how capitalism and white supremacy work hand in hand to control people’s behaviors and oppress people seen as less human. Just—holy shit. Read this book.

It’s a heavy read (even only at 180 pages), but it is necessary.

My only complaint? I wish there had been a chapter on ableism and disability, and their interactions with sexuality. There was one point where it seemed like Brown was building up to such a chapter, but then I turned the page and the subject changed.

Something I Learned: I learned so many things, but good god, how did I not know this before: “As the [Freedmen’s Bureau] attempted to rationalize African American sexuality by imposing heterosexual marriage upon the freedman through the rule of law and as a condition for citizenship, the racialization of blacks as pathologically nonheteronormative tightened the link between citizenship and a racialized heteronormativity” (Ferguson, Aberrations in Black: Toward a Queer of Color Critique). Many narratives frame the right to marriage granted after the 14th Amendment as something many freed African Americans desired, but there were also many on whom marriage was imposed.

“Marriage is an oppressive institution” gets another tick mark in its column.

Something I’m Inspired to Do: One thing I’ve noticed about the Bay Area ace community is that it is very white, and I’ve worried several times that the community would be alienating to Black aces. This is a problem with a lot of queer spaces, and somewhat especially ace spaces, because asexuality is so widely seen as a white Tumblr girl sexuality. I’d like to work harder to make the Bay Area ace group in particular more welcoming to Black aces.

Refusing Compulsory Sexuality was published in 2022. Support your local bookstore if you can, or visit your local library!

Sounds Fake But Okay by Sarah Costello and Kayla Kaszyca

Prompts Filled: (31) A book with a title that is a complete sentence, (41) A memoir that explores queerness

(The latter might be a bit of a stretch, but Sarah and Kayla do talk about their personal experiences!)

Tags: Asexuality, Asexual, Demisexual, Aromantic, Queer, LGBTQIA, Nonfiction, Podcasts, Queer Theory, Social Issues, Feminism, Education, Sex Education, Sexuality, Gender

Sounds Fake But Okay is “An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else.” Costello and Kaszyca explore a variety of topics through what they call “purple-colored glasses” or “the aspec lens.” They invite the reader to look at society, relationships, sex, family, and gender a little more closely and inspect and question the norms around these things. The reader is invited to challenge their assumptions about the way they can live their life and about how they might structure their relationships.

Sparked Joy: 3/5 I really liked the focus on breaking down norms, but I sort of wanted it to be more in depth, maybe with more psychology and philosophy, as it felt pretty basic. But this book is another good starting point in understanding asexuality and the asexual community, along with Ace by Angela Chen.

Two things didn’t spark joy: The Harry Potter/JKR mention, and the bit about Obergefell v. Hodges setting the queer community back, re: reimagining relationship hierarchies. The first was unnecessary, the second was an uneducated take.

Something I Learned: According to the Trevor Project’s 2020 survey, 25% of LGBTQ youth identify as transgender or nonbinary, with an extra 9% questioning their gender identity. And 41% of asexual respondents identify as trans or nonbinary and 13% are questioning. Over 50% of the asexual respondents are trans, nonbinary, or questioning! Sarah and Kayla attribute this higher percentage to the aspec lens making aspec people more likely to question established norms, which includes gender.

Something I’m Inspired to Do: Listen to the podcast more! I listened to a few episodes before reading this book, and after reading, I’m looking forward to listening more.

Sounds Fake But Okay was published in 2023. Here is the Sounds Fake But Okay website. Support your local bookstore if you can, or visit your local library!

Loveless by Alice Oseman

Georgia Warr is loveless. She is eighteen years old and she has never kissed anyone or been in love. She’s never had a relationship. And she’s about to head off to university without her teenage years featuring romance.

So Georgia is terrified of the future, a future which looks like it will be partnerless and loveless. She goes to university with her two best friends, Pip and Jason, and hopes that their friendship will survive the test of time, because she doesn’t have anyone else, doesn’t have a special someone.

No—instead she has several special someones.

Through drama—both the theater kind and the kind amongst friends—and new and old friendships, Georgia discovers part of herself and learns that love can be in her life, just not in the way she thought.

Loveless by Alice Oseman is a coming of age, own voices story about a girl figuring out that she is aromantic asexual and coming to terms with her identity. Georgia begins the novel being terrified for herself, but as she discovers terms for herself and that it need not be a sentence of loneliness, she finds the beauty and love in being aromantic asexual.

Book 2: Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

Ace by Angela Chen delves into what it means to be asexual and what asexuality reveals about everyone else. It’s a great primer for those who don’t know much about asexuality or the conversations going on within the asexual community.

Sparked Joy: 5/5 Wonderful and well-researched. I borrowed it from the library, but I might want it on my shelf as a reference material.

I will say, I disagree with her assessment of the sex-positive movement. Chen frames it as a movement dedicated to encouraging everyone to have sex, and that is not the way I understand it. Instead, sex-positivity is about allowing people to explore their sexuality freely, without shame, and any way they want or choose—which also includes not exploring it. You don’t have to have or like sex to be sex-positive.

Anticapitalist: 5/5 Chen challenges us to completely upend our conception of romance and relationships, and doing so poses a threat to a lot of power systems.

Queerness: 5/5 It’s about asexuality. A good amount of the references are queer. Chen is trans-inclusive in her reporting.

Similarity to Previous Book: 1/5 Ace is a nonfiction book, so it doesn’t really have anything in common with Any Way the Wind Blows. But it includes queer people, so 1 out of 5 points.

Amount of Animals: 0/5 No animals. Big bummer.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex was published in 2020. Here is Angela Chen’s website. Support your local bookstore if you can, or visit your local library!